What is coaching? The shortest answer
Coaching is a process in which a coach uses questions and intentional presence to help a coachee find their own answers, discover potential, and actively change—instead of being directed or taught. In other words, coaching is not teaching, consulting, or therapy—it is the art of illuminating the light already within others.
Perhaps you have sat in a “coaching” session that felt like a lecture. Or, conversely, had a conversation — just fifteen minutes — that left you with unexpected clarity, even though the other person said very little. That is the difference between real coaching and what we often confuse with it.
Coaching is not teaching—so what is it?
When first encountering coaching, many leaders equate it with mentoring (experience-based guidance), training (skill development), or consulting (solution advice). Yet the distinctions matter more than we think.
- Teaching/Training: Teachers have knowledge and transmit it to learners. Information flows one way.
- Mentoring: Someone further along shares experiences and lessons from their journey. Still centered on “This is what I did.”
- Consulting: The expert analyzes the problem and offers solutions. The person receiving advice gets answers from outside.
- Coaching: A coach believes the person before them already has the answer within—and the coach's role is to create space and ask the right questions so that answer can emerge on its own.
Coaching is not lighting a torch and leading someone by the hand. It helps them realize they have long held a torch already—they simply have not seen it.
This distinction is not purely technical. It reflects a fundamental belief about people: everyone carries within them a Teacher Within — a source of wisdom, a clear voice — just often obscured by anxiety, expectations, and noise from outside.
Why leaders need to understand coaching—not to “take a course,” but to lead
Perhaps you manage a team that waits for your decision whenever a problem arises. You solve it. They respect you. But they do not grow. And you become increasingly tired.
This is the classic trap of leaders with strong technical expertise: you have the answer, you give the answer, and the team depends on you. This cycle does not create an autonomous team — it creates a dependent one.
When leaders apply coaching correctly, it breaks that cycle. Instead of asking ‘What should I do?’ you practice asking in return: “What do you think the next step should be?” — and truly wait to listen. Without judgment. Without rushing to fill the silence.
A coaching leader does not have the most answers — they ask questions that help others find their own best answers.
As Vietnamese businesses undergo profound change from centralized management to empowerment and autonomy, leaders' coaching capacity is no longer “nice to have.” It is a survival skill. At TMT Group, this is one of the core capabilities developed throughout the leadership culture.
From Forbes to meditation master: why this perspective differs
I did not come to coaching through a certificate or an ICF course. I arrived after a long journey—from a business founder recognized by Forbes Vietnam (2015) and Forbes Asia (2016), through years of deep exploration of meditation and awareness, to my current role advising leaders.
What I learned on that journey is: the most effective coaching begins not with technique, but with the coach's inner state.
When you sit with someone and your mind is running through: “They should do A. Why can they not see that?” — you are not coaching. You are judging. Even if the question you ask sounds very much like “coaching.”
True coaching requires something few courses teach: be fully present. No judgment. No wish to make the other person reach the destination quickly. Trusting the process. And enough inner stillness not to fill every silence with your own advice.
When you are quiet enough, someone within you always knows the answer.
This is also why meditation and coaching are inseparable in my approach to leadership. You cannot give others space if you have not found that space within yourself.
The three most common mistakes when leaders apply coaching
1. Asking questions while already having the answer you want to hear
Perhaps you have encountered this kind of question: “Do you think option A would be more effective?” — this is not a coaching question. It is a leading question containing the answer the questioner wants. Real coaching requires open questions that do not steer the outcome.
2. Impatience with silence
Silence in coaching is golden. It is the moment when the other person is truly thinking and touching something within. Many leaders fill the silence with suggestions and answers — unintentionally robbing the person being coached of a moment of discovery.
3. Coaching without structure
Coaching is not an aimless conversation. An effective session needs a clear starting point—what is today's goal?—a journey of exploration, and an endpoint—what specific action is being committed to? Without structure, coaching can easily become collective complaining.
Coaching and awareness: two aspects of one path
In Awakening Buddhism — what I call the foundation of meditation practice I pursue — includes a concept called Turning the Light Inward: instead of constantly looking outward, turn the light of attention within. “Who knows this?”
This is also the nature of good coaching: helping the other person turn the light of awareness inward. Not to escape external reality — but to act from a stronger, clearer, more intentional center.
Coaching does not replace professional skill development. But without coaching, all professional skills risk being driven by fear, ego, and old patterns—instead of true clarity.
Awakening is not becoming someone else — it is returning to yourself. Good coaching does the same: it helps others return to their clearest, fullest selves rather than turning them into someone else.
Practice now: A 5-minute coaching exercise for leaders
In your next 1-1 meeting with a team member, try this:
- Minute 1: Before entering the room or turning on your camera, take three slow breaths. Set an intention: “I am here to listen, not to fix things.”
- Minutes 2–3: Begin with the question: “What is your most important priority right now?” — and stay silent. Do not interrupt. Do not finish their sentences for them.
- Minute 4: Reflect back what you hear: “What I am hearing is… Does that feel right to you?”
- Minute 5: Ask: “What is the smallest step you can take this week to move toward that?” — and let them answer for themselves.
Just five minutes. But if you are fully present, the other person will leave very differently than if they had received advice.
It is not easy. But it is possible.
Conclusion: Coaching begins with one person
You do not need to become a professional coach to lead through coaching. You only need to start from one simple belief: the person in front of you is capable of finding their own answer—if given the right space.
And to offer that space, first find it within yourself.
It is a long path. It is also the only path worth taking.
Tạ Minh Tuấn (Saga)
Frequently asked questions
What is coaching in the simplest terms?
Coaching is a process of helping others find answers and solutions within themselves through questions and intentional presence—instead of teaching them or directing their path.
How does coaching differ from mentoring and consulting?
Mentoring is an experienced person sharing their experience; consulting is an expert offering solutions. Coaching offers no answers — the coach believes the answers already exist within the coachee and helps them emerge.
Why do leaders need coaching skills?
Leaders who know coaching help teams develop autonomy, independent decision-making, and learning from within — rather than dependence on the person at the top. This is the foundation for a sustainable team and a culture of genuine empowerment.
How can I begin applying coaching in everyday work?
Begin by replacing a piece of advice with an open question in 1-on-1 conversations: “What do you think the next step should be?”—and truly listen to the answer without rushing to fill the silence.
Is coaching suitable for Vietnamese corporate culture?
Entirely suitable, especially as Vietnamese businesses shift from centralized management to empowerment. Coaching helps leaders build autonomous teams without abandoning strategic direction.